Link Gone Bad
by masterap
Summary: Yelp! I'm sooooo sry 4 all u fans that have been waiting for so long to get some Link Gone Bad...1 more ch. left...
1. Chapter 1

Link Gone Bad

Part 1

By Masterap

It is recommended that you play the LEGEND OF ZELDA THE WIND WAKER first! (Not required)

Link: Just checking to see if this works! If it does enjoy!

_Characters_

Link- The Hero (I think?)

Aryll-Little Sister

Grandma-Grandma (hag)

Orca- Swordsman

Teto-Captian

Pirates-Pirates (DUH)

Quill-Mailman (bird)

Niko-Pirate

_**Story**_

Aryll: Hello big brother. Get up!

Link: Shut the your ass up! (Has hangover)

Aryll: Uh…did you get drunk at your birthday party last night?

Link: I said shut your ass up!

Aryll: Ok, but Grandma wanted to see you.

Link: Fine, the old hag!

Aryll: Wait I have something to give you! It's my telescope. Please take good care of it.

Link: Whatever.

Aryll: Try to look at the mailman, Link.

Link: Oh my GOD! That is one big chicken! Let's eat it!

Aryll: You're funny!

Grandma: Link! If you don't come here right now, I'm gonna open up a can of whoop ass!

Link: Fine, jeez!

(While he walks to his house, he is making fun of the other kids)

Grandma: Finally! I thought I was going to die while waiting for you! Here shut up and put on these cloths! NOW!

Link: These cloths are too hot! These cloths are too itchy! You're old!

Grandma: What?

Link: Nothing!

(All of a sudden they both here cannon fire and they look outside)

Link: Oh My GOD! An even bigger CHICKEN!

Grandma: Look! In the chicken's talon! A girl! Link, go save her!

Link: Uh too far! Maybe tomorrow!

Grandma: Link, go and get that girl NOW! That's right, you better run!

Link: GOD! Old lady!

(Runs to Orca's house)

Link: Hey Orca, let me have a sword.

Orca: Ok, don't stab yourself.

(Link walks up the mountain were the girl fell)

Link: Jeez, a beautiful day, and I'm stuck saving a dame. (Enters mountain)

Link: Lalalalalala, blahblahblahblah Grandmas old Lalalala (Get the picture? Link finds the girl) Uh are you dead?

Stranger: Yo dog that was in the house.

Link: Wha!

Pirate: Ahoy Teto! I have come to save you!

Teto: It cool it cool. Thanks little man. Keep it real!

Link: What the is going on!

(Walks outside)

Teto: Yo man, I think that chicken just took your sister!

Link: I have a sister!

Teto: We should go get her little man.

(Walks down mountain)

Link: Hey I know you, your that chicken!

Quill: ……Ok……Link you must save your sister!

Link: Do I really have a sister?

Quill: Are you some kind of idiot?

Link: Who's an idiot?

Quill: You!

Link: Oh my Grandma…ya I kinda figured!

Quill: Oh my GOD! Teto, that is you name?

Teto: Right little bro.

Quill: And you're a pirate?

Teto: Yep.

Quill: I want you to take Link to the FORSAKEN FORTRESS.

Teto: Wow uh, you sure!

Quill: Yes!

Teto: Ok, but he needs something to protect him because I'm not goin' to clean up his blood!

Link: Jeez, thanks!

(Goes to Grandma's house)

Hey Grandma! Let me use you as a shield!

Grandma: Hell No!

Link: Fine! Then I guess the little sister I never had is going to die!

Grandma: Ah! Not Aryll! Here take this shield!

Link: You know her to man!

(Walks outside)

Grandma: Now hurry you ass up!

Link: God, old hag!

Grandma: I heard that!

Link: (To Teto) Ok, I'm ready!

Teto: Ok, little man lets go!

Quill: Good luck Link!

Link: Whatever!

Quill: Go to HELL!

Teto: Hurry up little man! (Enters the ship)

Link these are the other little dudes!

Pirates: AYE AYE CAPTIAN!

Link: Oh my GOD! You're the captain!

Teto: Chill little bro. Anchors away! Catch the wind! Hurry little bros. Link go down with Niko. He's a cool little bro!

Link: Whatever……(Walks to lower deck)

Hi! Are you the fag, uh Niko?

Niko: ARRRRR matey!

Link: Ya……….

Niko: AARRRRRR! Would ye like to play a game!

Link: Not really. Uh, AARRRRR you gay?

Niko: No uh yes no uh I-I'm not gay!

Link: Ya, I'm sure. Ok "Niko" I'll play your gay little game.

Niko: Just get to the other side by jumping on the platforms!

Link: Whatever. (Gets down on the floor and gets to the other side were there is a ladder)

THERE HAPPY?

Niko: Oh my GOD!YOU DID IT!

Link: Sure gay wad.

Niko: Now get the treasure inside!

Link: Ok… (LINK GOT THE SPOILS BAG) Uh why would I want a bag to put rotten food in?

Niko: No mat-

Link: You can stop that fag !

Niko: Fine! You put items you get from enemies! RETARD!

Link: You son of a bit-

Teto: Yo bro, we made it to the FORSAKEN FORTRESS!

Link: Finally! One more minuet with this gay wad and I woulda died! Bye Fag!

Niko: (To himself) Bye Bastard !


	2. Chapter 2

LINK GONE BAD part 2

By MASTERAP

_**Story**_

Teto: Yo little bro! While you went to go get a shield, the chicken told me that your sister is in one of these towers!

Link: Do I really have a sister?

Teto: Ya!

Link: Oh my GOD!

Teto: Anyways, he told me that the little dudett is being held captive here, and the only way to get there is to fl-

Link: Now how the hell am I going to do that!

Teto: We are going to blast you trough in a catapult!

Link: Oh my GOD!

Teto: Don't worry they almost always live!

Link: HELL NO!

Teto: Chill little bro you will be fine.

Link: Whatever!

(Link gets into barrel where he is shot into the tower and hits the griffin A.K.A. the chicken, where the chicken hits Link and Link faints. The griffin then gets Link and shows it to a mysterious shadow where it then lets Link fly through the air into a small island)

Link: Uh, were the Hell I'm I?

Stranger: You're on WINDFALL ISLAND!

Link: Who the hell said that?

Stranger: ME! Look up!

Link: WOW! I MUST HAVE GOTTEN REALLY DRUNK, BECAUSE THIS BOAT IS TALKING TO ME!

Boat: I have a name you idiot!

Link: Oh my GOD! It can talk!

(The boat then beats the shit out of Link and realizes the boat is real) Ok…let's review. I got drunk at my party last night and a bird came and took a sister I never had. Then a group of gay ass pirates came and took me to the FORSAKEN FORTRESS where the blasted me through a catapult into a chicken (again with the chicken). Now I'm on a piece of shit island with a red boat talking to me. Yep it all makes sense.

Boat: Anyway I'm the Queen of the Red Lions!

Link: Oh my GOD! You sound like a man!

Queen: I'm gay…

Link: I'm going to go and get drunk now ok?

Queen: Way-

(Link then goes into town where a fat little man drops a package. Link, knowing he is bad, takes it and doesn't give it back)

Link: Damn it! There is no way off this piece of shit!

(Link opens the package and there is a sail in it. He walks back to the Queen of the Red Lions)

Queen: Link! I wanted to tell you to find a sail but you ran off before I could get the chance!

Link: Shut up! Ok. I'm stuck on this piece of shit. Can you give me a ride back home?

Queen: Sorry. Can't. Bu-

Link: Listen you fag, I want to get off this piece of shit and back to my Grandma, which she is a hag, and forget any of this ever happened! OK?


	3. Zephos

LINK GONE BAD PART 3

BY MASTERAP

Queen: I'm sorry but you have to fill out your destiny.

Link: To HELL with destiny!

Queen: Anyway I'm going to take you to DRAGON ROOST ISLAND. When there you will find a pearl that will you power beyond your imagination.

Link: Wow. You mean to tell me I could get those caned breads whenever I want? I'm in!

Queen: ………ok………

(Link gets into the boat and puts on the sail with a lot of direction form the Queen. They then sail to DRAGON ROOST ISLAND)

Link here is a powerful item called the WIND WAKER©

Link: What am I supposed to do with this? (Link then breaks the WIND WAKER© in half)

Queen: OH MY GOD! You broke something that was used by the gods!

Link: Don't have a cow, uh whatever you have. I have some tape!

Queen: I knew I should have used a monkey instead!

Link: I heard that!

Queen: GOOD! May you burn in HELL!

Link: You know it is getting kind of cold around here I could use some firewood from a place that would hurt a girl really badly!

Queen: You wouldn't dare!

Link: Try me ass hole!

(All of a sudden a pig on a cloud comes to the fighting couple)

Pig: Hahahaahahaha, listen to you two fight! It's hilarious!

Link: You know I could go for I nice big juicy strip of bacon and ham!

Pig: Go to Hell! By the way my name Zephos and I'm the god of the wind. Do you posses the WIND WAKER©?

Link: That piece of junk? Ya I may have heard of it. FOR A PRICE!

(All of a sudden a bolt of lighting comes and follows the WIND WAKER© like a lighting rod and zaps Link)

Zephos: Hahahaha. I know a couple! Anyway let me teach you a song on the conductor!

Link: Ok.

Zephos: Gasp! You broke the WIND WAKER©!

Link: Oh ya hold on I have some tape.

OK. I'm ready!

Zephos: (To the Queen) You should have picked the monkey

Queen: I know!

Link: Hello I'm right here you bitch!

Zephos: Such language!

(Teaches Link the song)


	4. Dragon Roost Island

Dragon Roost Island

By Masterap

Zephos: That's all you need. Now you can conduct the wind.

Link: Well that's retarded

Queen: Link I must leave you from here. You must journey to the top city of RITO VILLAGE. There you will then seek help.

Link: …………

Queen: Did you get that?

Link: Yep.

Queen: Now go!

Link: GOD just like Grandma hag!

(Link walks up to the RITO VILLAGE and tells the chieftain)

Chieftain: Well a little brat uh boy named Prince Komali has a pearl. If you want it go seek out his help.

Link: Damn it!

(Link walks to a hall in which there is a room at the end. He kicks it open blinded by fury)

Give me the damn pearl!

(A girl is taking a shower while Link stares in aw. The girl screams and Link runs out SLOWLY. He then finds the right room)

Link: Give me the damn pearl!

Prince Komali: Who the HELL are you?

Link: Give me the pearl!

Prince: Not until I get my wings!

Link: Wha?

Prince: All ritos must go up to Valoo and get a scale and then they grow their wings! I'm not giving you the pearl until then!

Link: Come on and man up! If you hold that pearl for 3 more seconds I am going to hurt you so bad it will……HURT!

Stranger: Wait…I know how to help you!

Link: Who the HELL are you?

Stranger: I'm Medli and I know how to help you!

Link: Ok…how?

Medli: You must get a scale from Valoo and give it to the Prince!

Prince: You know I can hear every word your saying and I can get it by myself!

Link: Shut the fuck and let the adults talk!

Prince: … (To himself) I don't like you!

Medli: Good luck Link!

(Link goes to the main hall where he finds an elevator and rides it all the way to the top. Link finds Valoo)

Valoo: 

Link: Wha?

Valoo: Sorry! It's just that there is something that is bothering me!

Link: Here try some of these pills! They always help me!

Valoo: Ok…

(Link gives Valoo the pills and Link quickly grabs a scale from Valoo. He goes down and gives it to Prince Komali who greatly accepts it)

Prince: Thank you Link. Here you go. You can have the pearl. I don't need it anymore!

Link: Finally! WHIMP!

(Runs outside and shows the Queen who is muttering something about monkeys)

Link: Here happy! Now can I go home!

Queen: Sorry there is still 2 more pearls left! Then you can have your……canned bread.

Link: Oh my GOD!


	5. Last 2 pearls

Link Gone Bad

By MASTERAP

Queen: All I can tell you is that the next pearl is found at FORSET HEAVEN.

Link: Well that's a rip off.

(Link then gets into the boat and puts on the sail with lots of directions from the Queen. They then sail to FOREST HEAVEN.)

Link: Gasp! It's a Forest?

Queen: Ya, why do you think they call it FOREST HEAVEN?

(While the Queen is talking, Link gets a match and sets the forest on fire. Inside the Deku Tree wiggles in an attempt to put out the flame. While he is shaking the pearl falls out of his leaves.)

Oh my GOD what did you do?

Link: Well I didn't see the point in running my ass off while I could just get this done in record time.

Queen: You are the biggest idiot I have ever seen!

Link: Who's an idiot?

Queen: You!

Link: Oh the Prince…ya I kinda figured!

Queen: What ever just get the damn pearl! Link before you run off I should tell you there is one more pearl left. OK?

Link: Is it a pizza?

Queen: ……NO……

Link: Aw well. Let's go!

(Again Link gets into the boat with help from the Queen and they sail back to OUTSET ISLAND A.K.A. Link's home. What he doesn't know is that there is a stranger on board called Makar)

Grandma I'm home!

Grandma: O Hell no! Where's Aryll?

Link: Who?

Grandma: Don't play dumb ass with me! You know Aryll!

Link: (Has no idea who she is talking about)

Sorry I couldn't save her.

Grandma: You dumb ass! Since you are leaving again I might as well make you some soup.

Link: Thanks!

(While grandma is making soup Link is making faces at her. Grandma sees him and beats the shit out of him)

Grandma: Here! Now get your ass moving and save Aryll!

Link: (To himself)…Bitch! (Link walks back to the Queen and tells him the pearl is somewhere on this island. They sail around until they find a HUGE sign that says," THE 3rd PEARL IS IN HERE!)

Link: What a coincidence!

(They sail inside and find a HUGE FISH)

Give me the damn pearl!

Fish: I have a name you know!

Link: Does it look like I care!

Fish: No, but just in case it's Jaboo.

Link: Can I have the pearl or are we going to have to eat you!

Jaboo: Whatever just take it!

(Link then gets the pearl and gets a gun out of nowhere and shoots Jaboo. He cooks the body till it's nice and tender and eats it all.)

Queen: I can't believe you did that!

Link: I'm sorry! Did you want some?


	6. TOWER OF THE GODS

Tower of the Gods

By MASTERAP

Master: I've been getting some criticism about how I'm lacking STORY FORM so uh here we are! GGGOOOO!

"You are the biggest IDIOT I have ever seen!" said the queen of the red lions

"Yet you still hang out with me!" Link says angrily

"I have no choice! You have somehow managed to get all 3 pearls!" Said the Queen PISSED OFF!

"Whatever! Can I have my canned bread now?" Link fights backs.

"First we must place the 3 pearls in their rightful spot!"

"God you old cow!" Link STILL pissed off!

"I will make my-self sink!" The boat starts to shake violently!

"Do it! You'll go down with me to!"Link says a little scared.

(All of a sudden a pig on a cloud comes up)

The pig is on a cloud similar to Zephos'. "Hahahaha, listen to the two of you fighting like brother and brother!"

"You know I'm a girl!" Says the Queen equally pissed off as before.

Anyways Bitch! Haven't we seen you before?" Link says with some amusement.

"OH no that was my sister Zephos! I'm her brother Cyclos!" says the fat little pig!

"SISTER!" Link and the Queen say in equal response

"Hahahaha she does get that a lot!"

Link all of a sudden has the sudden craving for honey glazed ham and stares and Cyclos hungrily.

"Uh do you have a problem" Said the little delicacy.

"I have MANY problems. Like for instance I'm VERY HUNGRY!"

"Link! Don't do it! Sorry Cyclos! Link is uh very weird!"

"I heard that BITCH!"

"Such language!" All of a sudden they all here a little chime.

"UH OH! I must hurry! Link let me teach you a knew song!" Cyclos says VERY rapidly.

Link learns the song and Cyclos disappears.

"What just happened?" Link says very blackly

"Leave it alone Link. Let's just place the pearls in their rightful spot" Says the Queen happy to have cooled down.

"Whatever! I JUST WANT MY CANNED BREAD" Link says while putting on the sail on the Queen.

Link sails to three different island with the help of the Queen and Link correctly places all the pearls in their rightful home. After Link places the 3rd pearl down the statue lights up and a HUGE beam of light appears. When all 3 rays meet at 1 point a HUGE TOWER appears.

"Link, this is the TOWER OF THE GODS."

"Oh my GOD! This place is HUGE" Says Link very astonishing.

They then sail inside and find a service elevator which of course only Link can fit in. He then rides it all the way to the top. When he gets there a sign reads," **To do the purpose of which why you are here you must ring the bell once to fulfill your destiny**."

"Again with the destiny crap" Link says with annoyance in his voice. Link then pulls out a bomb out (which he stole on WINDFALL ISLAND) and hurls it at the bell. The bell falls down and hits the ground with a huge sound and the bell rings once.


	7. Hyrul

Hryul

By Masterap

When the bell rings once a beam of light appears out of the sea. The castle starts to shake but Link falls off. While he is falling he sees a bow and arrow in the sky. He grabs it and holds it close to him. Finally after 2 hours Link falls down into the beam of light with the Queen following.

"On my GOD! What just happened?" Link says with very little breath after falling and screaming the WHOLE way.

"Link I wanted to tell you earlier but I'm King of Hryul."

"But I thought you were a girl!" Link is VERY confused now.

"Well I'm King of Hryul but I'm gay."

"Like a tomboy gone horribly gone? On my GOD I can't believe I was talking to a gay wad."

"Anyway here you are supposed to find an item that can destroy all darkness." Says the Queen and/or King.

"Okay" Link says a little or lot uncomfortable.

Link then walks into a grand castle that is looks very old and is even in black and white. He walks into a grand hall with a sign that says,"** IF THE QUEEN OF THE RED LIONS SENT YOU HERE, FOLLOW THE PATH UNTIL YOU FIND THE BASEMENT.** Link then follows the signs and soon finds the basement. When he enters he finds a sign that reads,"** ONLY THE HERO MAY TAKE THIS MASTER SWORD OUT OF THIS STONE** THAT MEANS YOU LINKLink looks confused and grabs the sword and pulls out very hard. He keeps on tugging until he realizes the sword is already out. Link walks back to the Queen and/or King.

"Link now we must save your sister"

"Do I really have a sister?"

The boat then beats the shit out of Link and all of a sudden Link realizes he does in fact have a sister.

"Ok, where do he find her, ya old hag?"

"At the FORSAKEN FORTRESS!"


	8. Forsaken fortress

FORSAKEN FORTRESS

By masterap

"What!!!!! You mean to tell me I ran off my ass for nothing!!!! I can't believe you! You are such a bitch!!!"

"Ya, like I was supposed to know that you went to the FORSAKEN FORTRESS earlier!! Maybe if you would have told me about the adventures before you decided to tag along we would probably be done!!!!!" The queen and/or king says very pissed off!

"You know something, I'm going back home you worthless piece of shit, good luck on your own!!!"

"Uh…How the hell do you expect to get home?"

"……uh………you win this round bitch!!!!"

"Thank you! NOW GET YOUR ASS IN"!!!!!!

Link then gets in and they exit through a ball of light and reach the surface. Then the sail all the way to FORSAKEN FORTRESS! When they arrive a whole bunch of search lights appear. Link, knowing he doesn't give a damn, walks in anyway. A searchlight picks him up right away and guards come.

"Halt!!! Who goes there!?!?"

"Shine those lights off me and I might tell you bitch!!!!'

"NOBODY TALKS TO US LIKE THAT!!!!"

"I JUST DID!!!!!!"

Then link goes all kung fu on them and kicks there ass…in another story. In this one, however, Link is taken prisoner and put into a tiny cell miles from civilization in a cold dark cell with the rats.

"Well, better than the old hag!!!"

Link then pulls out a gun from nowhere, like usual, and blasts open the cell. He then sees a guard.

"Say hello to my little friend!" He then blows off the guard's head. He then walks all the way around the WHOLE place and ends up right at the beginning. He finds a map…duh…and follows it till he reaches the top o the HUGE TOWER. He finds Aryll, but Link doesn't recognize her.

"Big brother you found me!! I didn't think you would come!"

"Uh…do I know you?" Link says really confused.

"Uh…ya, you kind of do!"

"Whatever mystery stranger just go home now!"

Link then throws Aryll into the water 20 stories high and moves on. He fins the Griffin King and shoots it with a sniper rifle. The bird falls down and Link cooks the chicken. After a meal Link goes inside a big dark room.

"Hello honey! I've been waiting for…wait your not my x-wife!"

"Hell no!!!!! I'm strait!"


	9. Ganadorf

Ganondorf

_**By Masterap**_

"Oh crap, no wonder my wife broke up with me" Ganon says while feeling sexy.

"Oh my GOD! You're gay just like the Queen and/or King of the Red Lions!" Link says VERY uncomfortable.

"WOW. Uh…this is awkward!" Ganon says.

"Ya……so……see any good movies lately?" Link says uncomfortable.

"Oh ya it was awesome! It was called Broken back Mountain." Ganon says.

"Isn't that one about the gay cowgirls?" Link says ready to jump out the window.

"Oh ya…it was inter-"He is cut off by Link jumping out the window while he accidentally pushed Teto down with him to the ocean 30 stories high. Then Vallo comes and uses his ice breath to freeze the FORSAKEN FORTRESS. Prince Komali comes and checks if they are all right.

"What happened to your fire breath?" Link asks Vallo

"Oh…those pills you gave me did that. It still works just as fine." Vallo says.

"Are you okay?" Asks the prince worried.

"You! Shut the fuck up and let the dragon and the boy talk!" Link says pissed off for no particular reason.

"Ya…you're fine!" Prince Komali says.

"May I cut in?" says the King and/or Queen.

"Link I must take you and Teto back to Hyrule!"

"Uh…why Teto?" Link says a little jealous.

"Now is not the time to explain. Just hurry!" Then the Queen and/or King takes both Teto and Link back to Hyrule.

"Teto, it is so good to see you are all right!" says the King and/or Queen.

"Uh…do I know a cool little bro like you?" asks Teto confused.

"This is difficult to explain so I will do it SLOWLY. YOU ARE ZELDA, PRINCESS OF HYRULE!!!!!!!"

"THE FUCK!!!" Teto says.

"Well, when I was a young………uh……your………uh…anyway, I'm your parent. But you were adopted. And your mother/father loved you very much. But we were told, many years later, that you were a princess." Says the Queen/King awkwardly.

"So, what you are saying is that my little mom and pops are not really mine. AND I have a gay……uh……parent." Teto says in shocked realizing that her dad, Captain Green beard, isn't really her father.

"Uh……ya that about sums it up!" Says the Queen/King.


	10. EMO ZELDA

Emo

Zelda

By Masterap

This is my favorite chapter!!

"Uh……Dark! All I see is Dark!!! Must……cut……wrist!!!" Teto says while running into on of many rooms in Hyrule castle.

"Uh…do you think I laid it on her to hard?" The Queen/King says to Link.

"Uh……I prefer not to get in the middle of this uh…predicament." Link says.

"I will uh…uh…WAIT OUTSIDE, ya there we go…O U T S I D E!!!!!" Link says while making his way outside.

"Uh…Link! Please don't leave me here. I'm scared of emos!" The King/Queen says.

"Uh…Teto are you here!?!?" The King/Queen says while making its way through the rooms. She then hears someone muttering quietly. "Uh…Teto? Its okay you can come out now."

"GO AWAY NOW! I'm on my period and we girls can be total bitches, so just leave now!"

"Uh…well I don't get period!" says the King/Queen.

Then all of a sudden Teto comes out with black pants with skulls on them. She has big combat boots on. Her hair is now black instead of blonde. Her face is pale and her wrists have dried blood on them.

"Uh……You look uh……nice!" says the King/Queen.

"SHUT UP YOU OLD COW!!!!!!" says Teto.

"Damn girl!! Don't take that tone with me my young emo…uh daughter!" says the King/Queen remembering her fear of emos.

Then all of a sudden, Teto lies on the floor and starts crying, her dark eyeliner coming off.

"What the hell is wrong with my life!!!" says Teto trough sobs.

Link is outside practicing with his NEW bow and arrow. He hears Teto yell and think to himself," All hell has broken loose."

He fires at a bird and gets him.

"Ya. Bye freaking bird!"

He then hears a voice from a ball of light coming from the waterfall.

"HELLO!!!! IS THIS THING ON!?!?!?!? OH!!! I'm sorry. I'm one of the two sages. Do you have the master sword?!"

"Mmmmm…it seems this strange ball is talking to me. What should I do!?!? I know… DIE BITCH!!!!!!" Link then gets a gun and shoots the ball of light. It reappears again and it talks to him.

"WHAT THE HELL!!!! ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME!?!?!?!?!!?"

"OH!!!! YOU MEAN IT DIDN'T WORK!!!!!!" Link says to the sage.

"LOOK BITCH!!!! JUST HAVE A PERSON WHO PLAY THE HARP AND ANOTHER WHO PLAYS THE GUITAR AND HAVE THEM PRAY!!!!!! GOT IT!?!?!?!?! WELL THAT'S TO DAMN BAD IF YOU DON'T!!!!!!!!!!"

The ball then disappears.

"Mmmmm!!! TIME TO GET THE QUEEN/KING!!!!!" Link says while walking back into Hyrule Castle.


	11. Teto's Rage

**Teto's Rage**

**By Masterap**

Master: I'm running out of ideas!!-(

Sorry friends, I'll do the best I can!!

Oh and uh…Link…it's a funny story, just read please.

* * *

"Hello?!" shouted Link while wondering inside of Hyrule Castle. 

"Link! Is that you? Oh thank the gods that you are here! Teto came and tied me up because she is on her period!!" shouted the Queen/King

"Where are you? Not that it matters." Link said to himself.

"I don't know! I'm blindfolded!!" said the King/ Queen.

Just then, Teto came out of a room with a huge sword and skull shield. She was wearing armor that looked liked it was made out of bones.

"Hello Link. I'm glad to see that you are okay." Teto lied.

"What the Hell is wrong with you?" Link said.

"Why, nothing silly. JUST YOUR DEATH!!!!!!" Teto shouted as she rushed Link.

Link was taking by surprise but dodged her blow and withdrew his Master Sword. (Ha, Master! That's me!)

"I don't know what kind of drugs you're on, but I want some! Uh….I meant to say…DIE!!!!" Link said as he charged towards Teto easily dodged the blow. Link then grabbed his sword in both hands and rushed Teto again.

Teto blocked with her shield but it broke into tons of little pieces.

The battle was on…

* * *

Teto grabbed her sword and charged into Link. Link jumped in the air and he did a somersault. While he was coming down he came had his blades tip face the ground while aiming for Teto. Teto moved out of the way just in time as Link hit the ground. Teto was knocked back by the force of the shock and hit the wall, but then she kicked off the wall just in time as Link blocked her attack. 

They were both interlocking blades. Both were fighting to gain control but neither could do it.

Teto was going to play dirty as she reached for her back pocket and pulled out a dagger.

Link saw this attempt and immediately let go and kicked off backwards just as Teto swung where he had just been moments ago. Linked kicked off the wall and came flying towards Teto but she also kicked off the wall as well. When the both hit a huge sound of metal came as they were swinging their swords crazy.

Link backed off and started jumping off the walls. Teto did the same and the wall chase was on.

It was difficult to tell who was chasing who but then they some how both ended up on the floor in the main hall.

They both rushed each other and sliced at the same time. They passed each other and stood there very still.

There was no noise.

Everything seemed to halt as if watching with anticipation.

The air was so- "GET ON WITH IT!!!!!!"

Teto fell first. Blood was already soaking her shoulder wound. She would live, but it would hurt her forever.

Link stood still as his shirt ripped off. She hadn't hit him, but slashed him clear across his chest. If it had been a direct hit, he would be dead right now.

The battle was over.

* * *

Link was searching for the Queen/King everywhere and eventually found it. 

Link took off its blindfold as it stared at the bare-chested Link.

"Oh!!!! I see that you are shirtless!!" the Queen/King said while giving a school girl laugh.

"Are you hitting on me?" Link said as he was desperately looking for something to wear.

"What are you doing?" the Queen/King said.

"Trying to find a shirt so I can live comfortably in peace. Normally it wouldn't bother me, but it is now because you are staring at me." Link said while looking harder.

He found something, but it was a pink shirt with the word Courage on it. He was desperate and immediately put it on.

The Queen/King was saddened..

"Oh and by the was gaywad, we need to go and find some dumbass who plays the harp and the guitar and have them restore power to the master sword." Link said.


	12. Medli and Makarr

Medli and Makarr

By Masterap

Master: Well sorry I've been gone so long, but before we go one with the story, let me just say that Makarr is now a little girl and can't do shit, and Medli is now a bimbo. Just thought I would let you know. LETS GO ON!!

* * *

" OH GAY GIRL/BOY! A dumb bitch just old me that I need to find little pimps who play a harp and a guitar and have them pray for some shit…I forget." Link said as he shouted in the numerous halls in Hyrule Castle.

"I'm busy!" said the Queen/King.

"Doing what!?" Link responded.

"Comforting my little emo daughter! She keeps cutting herself and getting her damn AIDS every where." Shouted the Queen/King.

"Well hurry the fuck up!!"

"It's not my fault my orphaned daughter became emo because she found out that she is a princess after being a ghetto pirate!"

"Whatever! Jeez! So selfish!" Link retorted.

After twenty minuets of hearing nothing but the Queen/King trying to consult her daughter, Link had enough and told the Queen/King to hurry it's ass up.

After another twenty minuets the Queen/King finally started to exit Hyrule and go in search to find the two pimps.

Link thinks he hears a noise behind him and turns and looks and sees a little tree man.

"Holy shit! Who the fuck are you!?" Link shouted to the little tree man.

"Oh! Me? I'm Makarr." Makarr said in a high voice that sounded like a woman.

"Hey! You look like the Deku Tree! Like in Forest Heaven that I burned down to the ground while the Queen/King kept rambling on and on telling me about her life story like I really give a damn! All I want is some canned bread." Link said.

"I was banished from Forest Heaven from trying to have butt sex with all the other tree-" Makarr suddenly stopped.

"Do you want me to play my guitar huh? Do ya? DO YA!" Makarr said while trying to change the subject.

"…"

"…"

"SWEET! Our work is half done!" Link said to the Queen/King.

"Yes Link, but if a remember correctly, didn't that nappy headed hoe at Dragon Roost Island play the harp?" The Queen/King asked.

"Let's go!"

After more disturbing stories about Makarr's CONDITION, the trio arrives and Dragon Roost Island. Link is searching for the nappy headed hoe that plays the harp, and eventually they find her. Link without asking says,

"SHUT UP AND PRAY WHILE PLAYING THE HARP!"

Link then pulls out a gun from nowhere and shoots it up in the air several times. Medli starts to play. Link then points the gun at Makarr and says,

"YOU TOO!"

Link then says "What now?"

"Back to Hyrule!" says the Queen/King.

They leave for Hyrule.


End file.
